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By Jamya L. Canty

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

One of my favorite quotes from the HBO series “GIRLS” says:

“ I was so bored with my life I started to sabotage it”

I thought about this quote although funny, how true it really is. In today’s routine world full of scheduled days do we sometimes need to mix it up?

Life as an adult is weird, you spend your entire childhood waiting to be “grown”. Waiting for the freedom to be able to do what you want, when you want and how you want. Only to end up stuck in an endless cycle of Monday-Friday cubicles, holiday potlucks and the occasional Happy Hour. It seems that our love relationships can become the only space for excitement, unpredictability, visibility, and freedom.

The popular social media meme I often see depicted on my timeline is one of the angry stalker girlfriend and or the cheating boyfriend as if this is now the social standard for modern relationships. provides Dr. Lillian Glass, a California-based communication and psychology expert coined the term in her 1995 book Toxic People, defines a toxic relationship as “any relationship [between people who] don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.” (

I began to think have our love ships became our only personal source of entertainment? Has toxic relationships become our cure for boredom in adulthood? And if so, do we hold toxic relationships significant in staying interested in life? Does that negative emotion fuel us to do better in other parts of our lives, helping us stay a consistent employee, friend, child, parent?

Have toxic love ships become the new guilty pleasure?


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