By Tashima Jones, Author & Life Coach --- Breaking through limitations starts with being aware that those limitations exist. Too often, those who are seeking change in their lives are looking to prune symptoms without getting to the root of an issue. Some are looking to be consistent without recognizing they overlook value. Others seek advancement without acknowledging what’s holding them back. And then there are those who desire love without understanding how to, first, love themselves. No matter the goal, the key to getting to most milestones is usually based on conquering the obstacles right where you are.
Limitations are margins telling a person how far they can go; and the major challenge in breaking through those barriers is actually believing them. Limitations are empowered by the confidence (or fear) one puts in them. The thing about belief is that a person can actually believe a lie; understanding this truth leads to deconstructing what one holds as reality. If the childhood environment wasn’t conducive to overall well-being and healthy self-image, chances are a mindset of self-defense was adopted instead of self-enhancement; and a lack of inner-assurance was picked up instead of a can-do mentality. Most limitations are the result of adapting to toxic and traumatic circumstances outside of one’s control, so instead of changing the environment (due to inability) a person conforms to that environment for survival. And survival can be physically, mentally, financially, socially, emotionally, creatively, and relationally. Many adults are living in the adapted version of who they truly are; which is one of the greatest limitations.
Authenticity is a form of abundance and freedom; it is to be safe in discovering & knowing yourself; being yourself; and expressing yourself in purpose, relationships, and daily living. Not walking in authenticity restricts the individual from the relationships, experiences, and fulfillment associated with their life. Think of it as a person at a fork in the road with two paths set before them. One path is designated to the authentic - self and the other is connected to the adaptive - self. The adaptive - self (the self who is normally in survival mode) functions within the limitation; cutting off the good that could be, for a false sense of safety. The authentic - self, on the other hand, is freely flowing in their natural gifts, purpose, and personality which leads them into alignment with the reality associated with those gifts, that purpose, and their personality.
Again, breaking through limitations begins with seeing them; and honesty is required. The more honest you are with yourself, the greater clarity you have. Uncovering emotional blindspots and thinking errors supports in acknowledging that change is necessary (which ultimately leads to change itself). Remember, the strength of any limitation is fueled by the belief in it. So, recognizing how you adapted to unfruitful environments and finding the healthy alternative to that behavior reveals more of who you truly are. It's essentially your authentic - self breaking through the adaptive - self; and this is a major key to utterly destroying limitations altogether.
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Set aside at least 5 minutes to consider the following questions:
Have you adapted to an unfruitful environment (i.e. childhood trauma; toxic relationships; high stress workplace, etc.) in order to survive (physically, mentally, financially, socially, emotionally, creatively, and relationally)?
What are 3 behaviors adopted by the adaptive - self?
How has the adaptive - self limited the authentic - self?
What adjustments would the healthy, authentic - self make to the environment?
Who would you be if the authentic - self broke through the adaptive - self?
As always, be sure to journal your experience.
This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.