Written by: Wali Barefield
Photo by herway.net
It has been said that men think about sex all the time. And the average women think about sex most of the time and possibly as much as men. With that being said, is it important to have sex in order to have a healthy relationship?
Let us think about this for a moment. When you first meet someone, your attraction is physical or sexual. Then once a certain amount of time pass, you begin to have sex. Depending on how the sex is, it can determine if you want to commit to them or not. Let’s be honest. How many of us want to be in a long-term relationship with someone that the sex is terrible with? There has to be an intimate connection first. Some may describe it as lust, maybe this is true. Whether you want to call it lust, a sexual attraction or physical desire, one thing remains clear is that sex, especially great sex is important to begin or have a relationship.
I’m sure that you are probably thinking right now that sex is not the only important thing in a relationship. That there must be a mental connection, maybe even a spiritual one. And you are correct. But the topic of this discussion is SEX. Sex is one of the important factors in a relationship and without it a relationship may not grow or even begin. Why is this? Simple. The answer is Affection.
We all yearn for affection in our relationships. To be held, kissed, caressed, and touched in affectionate ways. Affection is a big part of our sexual connection to our partner. Yes, you may share a mental connection with them, but there must be lust or romance. A relationship can quickly become unhealthy when affection and sex is no longer occurring. Both parties begin to feel like friends instead of lovers. You begin to want to spend less time with them and more time alone or with someone else. It is important to keep the flame alive in your relationship. To keep your lover attracted to you in a sexual way. Set up a date night and go somewhere that will have you and your lover dressing classy and sexy. Exercise or work out together. Try role playing in the bedroom. Try new sexual positions. Watch porn together. Do things as a couple that will ignite your sexual urges towards each other.
If you are still turn on by your mate but the sex is not great anymore, then communicate with them. Tell them how you feel in a respectful and polite way. Your goal is not to hurt them or make them feel insecure. You want to encourage them either by showing them what you like or convincing them to try new things. Above all you must be patient. These changes will not happen overnight. It will take time.
Sex has always been an important part of a relationship for me. I can not imagine myself with someone that doesn’t want to have it. However, I have been in a relationship were the sex was amazing, but we didn’t have a mental or spiritual connection which ultimately led to our relationship ending. I desire to have a mental and spiritual connection with my lover, but a sexual connection is equally as important.
Now, take a moment and think about how important sex is to you and how it effects your relationship.
And then answer the question below.
Sex: is it important in order to have a healthy relationship?