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My Friends Hate My Mate

Kasha Thompson @kayslay_allday

Photo: Photographer:@kevin_turcios

You’ve met this great new person. They’re funny, smart, employed and make your heart go BOOM. There’s just one problem… your friends HATE them. Of course, you want your crew to like him as much of you do but what do you do when they don’t?

First you need to ask yourself the hard question. Is there a reason your friends dislike them? Time to take a sobering assessment of your new boo. Does he have weird, annoying quirks? Is she rude? Does he come off as a player? Typically, your friends want what’s best for you so if they just don’t see it for your new mate there could be valid reasons why. When you’re in a love haze it can be hard to see what everyone else can. You may need to step back and remove the rose-colored glasses to get a better look.

Go to the source, your friends. Ask them to tell you honestly what they dislike. Here is the hard part… listen to what they have to say. You may not agree, but if you ask you need to be ready to receive information that may make you uncomfortable. Hopefully after this conversation you’ll know if your friends think bae is a lecherous cheater or just a cornball with no swag.

So, if he’s a cheater you leave him… no brainer. But what happens when your friend’s opinion on your mate are less black and white? If you decide to stick it out you need to learn how to balance your friendships and your relationship. First, don’t force it. You can’t fit a square peg into a circular hole and you can’t try to change the vibes between friends and bae. Maybe tensions will shift over time but meddling with it won’t help.

You may want to consult your partner. If your partner cares about you they are not going to want you pushing your friends away for them. Maybe your mate will have helpful suggestions on how to smooth things over.

Try to bring them together in small doses. Maybe you could meet for a quick drink or at an event everyone can spend time together with no pressure attached. It’s natural to want everyone to get along but remember it may require baby steps.

At the end of the day you are responsible for your happiness and you’ll have to figure out how to successfully maintain your romantic relationship and the relationship you’ve built with your friends. You may have to keep those two worlds separate to keep the peace and your sanity. If you have a healthy and happy relationships with your mate and your friends you should be able to find a happy medium that works for all parties involved.


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