Most people feel, the primary source of sex education in someone’s life should be their parents. Yet as an adult, I’ve noticed it is rare for my friends to have learned about sex from their parents. They usually learned through friends or trial and error.
Growing up I knew what it meant when I heard about the “Birds and the Bees” or when fathers have “The Talk” with their sons. Not that I have ever experienced this but because of sitcoms. Sitcoms with an all white cast in an all white community. From my experience, growing up in Far Rockaway, none of us have ever had a “Birds and the Bees” chat or “the Talk” that resembled any of what I saw on TV. For girls it was “come home with a baby and you are done” and for boys “do ya thing, but don’t get nobody pregnant”. How does this effectively teach our children how to navigate the responsibilities of intimate relationships? It doesn’t and that’s a problem.
Photo from vivianbaruch.com
I believe in honesty, pure honesty. Granted, my family is extremely blunt. My mother would ask “How was school today? Followed by “Anybody touch your downstairs, your vagina? You sure? Grown ups too!? Anybody?”. And I was like…..7.
I had an adult male dance teacher once and she straight up said “If he gets too close and any part of him touches your P***y, let me tf know”. Of course her language progressed as I got older.
But this kept me aware and safe. I’d enter spaces and announce that nobody better not touch me or my dad will kill you.
Sex education needs to be an on going process, it should grow with the child.