Are you friends with yourself?
Do you like your own company?
Or are you constantly looking for a distraction?
A person to distract you?
When is the last time you sat alone with yourself with no distractions?
I cannot stress enough the importance of sitting alone with your thoughts - FULL DISCLAIMER, it is NOT always comfortable.
I wouldn’t say I am addicted to my phone, well, on saying that, I do love a good scroll in the evening as much as the next person but whenever I catch my screen time getting ridiculously high – I DELETE APPS.
For a few days at a time sometimes.
You will realize pretty quickly that no one really cares if you haven’t posted about your dinner tonight or that you haven’t shared the ol’ #OOTD.
BUT on the flip side of things – you will also realize that you don't miss it.
You didn’t miss seeing Joanne’s dinner down the road or Sheila’s homemade banana bread and THAT is a magical thing.
I am not here to diss on social media, but I am here to advise you to check up on your consumption and how you use it. Is it benefitting your life or hindering it?
I personally feel like social media, out of all the distractions we have these days, seems to be the most addictive.
How can we truly get to know ourselves if we are NEVER alone with ourselves?
Coming from someone who constantly loves to be around people, always had the tv on & LOVED being busy, this was really hard for me at the start.
It is actually quite uncomfortable.
I feel like meditation helped me to become more comfortable with sitting with myself but not everyone wants to meditate & that’s cool. All I’m saying is for even 5…10…minutes a day, maybe with your morning coffee, why don’t you just sit there and be aware of yourself, journal your thoughts if it helps but just be AWARE.
We live such busy lives, constantly thinking about what we have to do next that when it comes down to just sitting with ourselves, we become SO lost as to who we are, what we’re doing, and what WE, not society, actually wants out of life.
People always say ‘‘I am so BAD at Meditating!’
My response is always - Do ONE thing
I have been chatting a lot with friends over the last few weeks and I think the great thing is that even though not everyone is ‘into’ meditation, a lot more people are starting to understand and accept that it has huge benefits!
But the one sentence that people keep saying to me over and over again is ‘I AM SO BAD AT MEDITATING.’
Spoiler alert…most people are unless you happen to be a Buddhist monk who meditates for hours at a time.
Now, I am absolutely no expert in this area but what I can talk about is my own personal experience with meditation. Maybe this might help people who find themselves getting super frustrated trying to meditate.
THAT WAS ME – typical type A, always had to be on the go, looking for the next task.
Firstly, cut yourself some slack.
We live in an era of distraction (LITERALLY EVERYWHERE)
Think about it: on average, people apparently only work 3 minutes before the interruption.
At home, approximately 60% of people spend more time staring at a screen than talking with their partner and 88% of people admit to using a second screen while watching TV.
I think it is fair to say from the above statistics that you need to cut your brain some slack. If we are constantly bombarded with various forms of information, you can’t expect your brain to just STOP.
It does get easier to calm your mind but your mind is a muscle and like other muscles, it takes time & training. ALSO, the point of meditation IS NOT TO STOP YOUR THOUGHTS. So many people feel that the point of meditation is to have a completely clear mind, but space between the thoughts does come eventually!
When thoughts arise, observe them, and eventually, they will pass.
Be friends with yourself.
I sometimes do guide meditations but sometimes I like to just sit there with some funky waves on in the background and ask myself, what do you want to think about? Ironically, this sometimes stops the thoughts from arising.
Be your own friend. Not your own enemy and if thoughts keep arising, write them down and get them from your head to paper!
Meditation doesn’t have to be sitting cross-legged on a cushion, chanting.
Meditation can be anything. Just focus on ONE THING.
If you’re doing the dishes, do the dishes.
If you are out for a walk, be out for a walk not chatting on the phone.
It is scary to think that we never really do this anymore.
If we are driving, we listen to the radio. If we’re out walking, we listen to a podcast.
How are we supposed to get to know ourselves really when all we are being bombarded with is images and videos of other people’s highlight reels?
Sorry for the rant, but the takeaway point on this matter is to give meditation a go, and instead of constantly trying to distract yourself when you’re bored, why not just sit with yourself and your thoughts?
You might be pleasantly surprised when you stop ignoring your thoughts and start questioning and engaging with them.
Facebook: Nerissa Shea